Letting Your Business Evolve into What it Wants to Be

Letting Your Business Evolve into What it Wants to Be

The Evolution of Your Business is Directly Tied to the Evolution of YOU!
Episode 25 with Ariana Fotinakis, The 5D Business Collective

ABOUT THIS EPISODE...

One Heck of an Identity Rollercoaster...

Ariana's first business was in fitness and birthed from her passion for fitness in her sobriety journey. As she evolved, so did her business which meant leaving her fitness business behind and branching into the new and exciting world of breathwork and somatic healing and how to use these tools to support entrepreneurs in the growth of their businesses. 

But...letting her first business die in order to make space for the rebirth of her new business wasn't as easy as flipping a switch. It challenged her sense of identity and brought about five months of grieving for what was over. 

And it's all been a powerful evolution that's brought her to where she is now!

Just a Few of the Magical Tidbits Ariana Shared in This Episode...

• Our businesses are their own entities, have their own ways that they want to be expressed and their own offerings that they want to share
• Just as we are on a continual journey to self-actualize, as human beings, our businesses are on those journeys as well
• The healing journey is different for everybody and it's not a linear process
• We might be really good at talking about how things make us feel, but how often do we actually feel safe and supported enough to go into that feeling and to let ourselves be in the discomfort of our feelings
• Her thoughts on death and rebirth in entrepreneurship
• Grieving the ending of one business while making room for what's to come
• Losing and rediscovering her sense of identity as her business evolved

"To stifle the evolution of our business is to stifle the evolution of ourselves"
- Ariana Fotinakis, The 5D Business Collective


BOOKS YOU NEED TO READ...

• When the Body Says No: The cost of hidden stress by Gabor Mate
• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
• Burnout by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski
• Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price
• Let It Be Easy by Susie Moore

MEET ARIANA...

Supporting Your Business with Science, Spirit, and Soul!

Ariana Fotinakis is an Indigenous woman, Mama, coach, breathwork facilitator, and founder of The 5D Business Collective. Ariana takes a holistic approach when supporting her clients by blending science, spirit, and soul. She believes that every single person on this planet has something special the world needs, and that when we're well-supported and well-taken care of, we become better-equipped to share those gifts.

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Connect with Lindsay
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Transcript

Ariana Podcast

[00:00:00] Ariana: There are definitely people who like come out of the womb, knowing that they're meant to do this thing, and this is gonna be their business. And that's what it's going to be for their entire entrepreneurial journey. And that's amazing. But I also believe that our businesses are their own entities and they have their own ways that they wanna be expressed.

[00:00:18] Ariana: They have their own offerings that they wanna share. And just as we are on a continual journey to self actualize, as human beings, our businesses are on those journeys as well. And to stifle the evolution of our business is to stifle the evolution of ourselves. 

[00:00:36] Lindsay: Welcome to the work, less play more podcasts for busy entrepreneurs who are ready to ditch the hustle. Stop burning on busy work and get back to having a life. My name's Lindsay Johnson, AKA The Radical Connector, and I spent the last 10 years teaching first time entrepreneurs, how to get customers and make money.

[00:00:56] Lindsay: Listen in, as I chat with other hustle, recovering business owners, as [00:01:00] we share our top tips, for you guessed it working less and playing more. Let's do this. . 

[00:01:08] Lindsay: Friends, listeners, entrepreneurs, magical human beings, whew baby. Welcome back to the Work Less, Play More Podcast friends. I apologize. I have been, MIA, on this podcast for many months.

[00:01:24] Lindsay: To say that my life has been in a bit of a rollercoaster is an under statement. But then again, who else can relate ? I feel like if you've escaped your life being in a rollercoaster over the past two and a half, three years, uh, I'm jealous. What's your secret?

[00:01:42] Lindsay: But truly when I'm coaching the entrepreneurs that I work with, I need to constantly be reminding people that your business is not built in a bubble. Sometimes you have to put your business a little bit on the side to deal with some bigger life stuff.

[00:01:58] Lindsay: And I know, I [00:02:00] know. It's so annoying. . We wanna stay focused on our businesses all the time and go, go, go. Grow, grow, grow. Succeed, succeed, succeed. But sometimes life throws some curve balls at ya and you need to deal with that. 

[00:02:13] Lindsay: And that's okay. Friends, if you are ever in a place where you have to put your business on the back burner to deal with other pressing issues in your life, trust me when I say your business is still gonna be there, ready for you to pick up. And in fact, you might have a whole changed perspective when you come back to it.

[00:02:30] Lindsay: So I am so glad that you're here. I have oodles of really great podcasts that I recorded at the beginning of the year that are finally gonna be getting edited and put up for you because they are some seriously awesome conversations that you need to hear, including the one you're about to listen to right now featuring Ariana Fotinakis

[00:02:51] Lindsay: I was debating which podcast to put out first, and this is definitely the one that I thought, Nope, we need to hear this now, especially as we're heading into spooky season [00:03:00] and the last quarter of 2022, when everybody is going to be pushing, pushing, pushing to hit their 2022 goals.

[00:03:07] Lindsay: So who the heck is Ariana Fotinakis? Well, she's an indigenous woman, a mama, a coach, a breathwork facilitator, and founder of the 5D Business Collective. Ariana takes a holistic approach when supporting her clients by blending science, spirit and soul.

[00:03:22] Lindsay: She believes that every single person on this planet has something special the world needs, and that when we're well supported and well taken care of, we become better equipped to share those gifts. Our conversation today was inspired by a private chat Ariana and I had talking about the life, death, and rebirth of our businesses and ourselves as entrepreneurs, and why that is such an important part of your entrepreneurial journey.

[00:03:47] Lindsay: This conversation is purely magical and I cannot wait for you to just absorb all of Ariana's magic. So let's do this thing, friends. Happy listening.

[00:03:56] Lindsay: Welcome Ariana to the podcast. How are [00:04:00] you doing today? 

[00:04:01] Ariana: I'm doing great. Thank you so much for having 

[00:04:03] Lindsay: me. I'm delighted that you're here. Now. We met quite a few years ago now at an event in Vancouver and have had the privilege of staying connected on social media.

[00:04:15] Lindsay: And I've got to watch how your business has evolved so much in that time. And I love it because it feeds so much into what we're gonna talk about today, which is the life and death and rebirth of an entrepreneur and the changes in evolutions that we go through. So friends, you are in for a treat. We're gonna have a really great conversation today.

[00:04:34] Lindsay: Before we dive into that, Ariana it's help folks, what is it that you do in your current iteration of yourself and your business? 

[00:04:42] Ariana: Yeah. Beautiful question. And I will keep it as succinct as possible. Really. What I feel I do is I hold space. I hold space for individuals, for their businesses, for their thoughts to manifest into things.

[00:04:56] Ariana: And when we look at what that looks like in terms of practical [00:05:00] terms, I work with breathwork healing. So I support folks through physical, emotional, spiritual, and, mental healing through the power of breath work I also offer coaching and different somatic practices. So helping folks be able to identify what's meaningful in their lives and how do they work towards that, but to do so from a really deeply embodied space, one that comes from their heart and not just what they think they should be doing.

[00:05:23] Lindsay: I love it. I wanna talk in just a moment about breathwork and somatic work, because a lot of folks might not even know what that means, or it's a catchy thing that we're hearing more frequently, but even just to pause for a moment and talk about living from the heart and not the head that is such a difficult thing, it's a scary thing to not only let ourselves be ruled by logic, but also to trust what we innately know.

[00:05:48] Lindsay: A 

[00:05:49] Ariana: hundred percent because we are taught from a very young age that. What we are meant to do. Like our path is laid out for us, whether it's been laid out by our parents or by society or [00:06:00] teachers, or whoever's been telling us what we should or shouldn't be doing. And from a very young age, we are essentially taught that we don't know what's best for us.

[00:06:07] Ariana: And if something is different from this more traditional path, that it can't really be trusted. It's not going to work for us. It's not gonna lead us to a quote, unquote, successful or happy. And so we should just quiet down any of those little thoughts that might pop up because they don't mean anything.

[00:06:27] Ariana: And we should just keep doing, as we're told. 

[00:06:31] Lindsay: That is rough . That is rough. I remember when I, so I was married ages ago. I've been divorced a long time now, almost 13 years. And about two years before my divorce, maybe a year before I had this moment of sitting on my couch, deeply depressed, had been avoiding the world for a solid week.

[00:06:51] Lindsay: Don't think I even showered. I was deeply depressed and miserable in my own life. The question that kept coming up in my head was, is this all there is this [00:07:00] all there is because I had followed the rules. I had gone to school, I had gotten married. I had bought the condo .

[00:07:06] Lindsay: I had the career, I had done all the things that society said I was meant to do and deeply unhappy. And so I ended up shaking up my life. I think a lot of people get to that point, but there is that grief. Or maybe almost of betrayal that comes from following society's rules and ending up unhappy.

[00:07:26] Lindsay: Have you ever experienced that yourself 

[00:07:28] Ariana: a hundred percent and I've always lived a slightly unconventional life. I struggled with substance abuse for 10 years and dropped out of university and moved away to go live in a little tiny trailer in the mountains before the tiny home thing was cool.

[00:07:39] Ariana: When I was like 21. From quite a young age, I knew. The path of just going to school and getting a job and doing all of that. That wasn't for me, but I was so disconnected from what was for me that it was just a lot easier for me to just numb and avoid through [00:08:00] substances and all of that, rather than actually get in touch with my heart.

[00:08:02] Ariana: Because as you've identified, it's scary and you have to deal with grief and betrayal and who am I amidst all of the lies that I've been fed and I wasn't ready to face that for a 

[00:08:13] Lindsay: long time. Yeah. So what made you be ready? 

[00:08:16] Ariana: I don't know if there was an actual moment of being ready to face.

[00:08:20] Ariana: All of it. I can say for the day that I decided that I needed to get sober. I was 23 years old. I woke up one morning and it was the first time that I'd actually looked at myself in the mirror. And I saw myself, I saw the person looking back at me and I did not recognize. And I didn't know what I was gonna do differently.

[00:08:41] Ariana: I didn't know what a sober life would look like. I didn't know what people did on a Monday afternoon if they didn't go to the bar, but I was like, something needs to change. I can't keep going on this path. And so that was. Definitely, obviously one of the most pivotal moments of my life, but there was still so much healing that needed to come after that.

[00:08:59] Ariana: [00:09:00] I essentially replaced an addiction for drugs and alcohol, with fitness, with busyness, with work, with achievement and striving. And I would say I've really only been in my recovery process. Since early 2018. And that was actually coincidentally, when I found breathwork and started to realize, whoa, there's a lot under the surface that yeah.

[00:09:21] Ariana: Needs and wants to be acknowledged. 

[00:09:23] Lindsay: So what is, breathwork just really quickly for folks that maybe don't, aren't familiar 

[00:09:27] Ariana: with it. Yeah, great question. Breathwork is an umbrella term for a number of different breathing exercises where we're manipulating the breath. If you've been to a yoga class, you've probably done some different pranyama techniques like lion's breath or breath of fire, things like that.

[00:09:41] Ariana: And the form of breathwork that I work with is known as Conscious Connected Breathwork it is a longer breathing practice anywhere from 30, 40, 50, even up to 60 minutes long. And it can bring you into. Slightly altered or non-ordinary state of consciousness. So you can access different parts of yourself creates a safe, if you are working [00:10:00] with a facilitator that you trust container for healing trauma, and a lot of really magical things that can come from that too.

[00:10:08] Lindsay: So then as you're going through this process you're finding your way. Is this something that you knew you wanted to bring into a business? Did you have your business at that point 

[00:10:18] Ariana: yet? Yeah, so I started my business a year after I got sober and I was like, fitness changed my life. I'm gonna change the world with fitness. Yeah.

[00:10:26] Ariana: As we naturally do. 

[00:10:26] Lindsay: 

[00:10:26] Lindsay: And did. And so was so like was breathwork always a part of your business. 

[00:10:31] Ariana: Good question. No, breathwork wasn't. So when I for had that first experience with breathwork in 2018, I didn't know what it was. I had heard about it when they handed out towels to cover our faces, because we might cry.

[00:10:42] Ariana: I was like, I'm not gonna cry. This is weird. What's going on. And after the session was done, it was the most intense, emotional release I'd ever experienced where everything, it felt like I had experienced. Put away or numbed with alcohol during those 10 years it came up. I felt it. And it was gone from my [00:11:00] being.

[00:11:00] Lindsay: hang on. There's gonna be a lot of people that are gonna wanna hear that, because I think that everybody's healing journey is different, but there is belief and the experience of being a long drawn out process is very painful. And you're saying it came up and it was gone.

[00:11:12] Lindsay: Tell us about that if you want to, if you feel comfortable. 

[00:11:15] Ariana: Yeah, totally. So when I say it came up and it was gone so much of this long and drawn out process, What I will say is that the healing journey is different for everybody. And it's not a linear process. No, as we've been meant to believe we move forward and we move back and we ebb and flow.

[00:11:29] Ariana: And sometimes 10 years down the road, something that we thought was no longer a trigger for us. , it comes back up at a deeper level. But so much of that drawn out or a big part of having it be drawn out is that we are not actually dealing with the emotional side of it. So we might be talking about the emotions.

[00:11:46] Ariana: We might be really good at talking about how things make us feel, but how often do we actually feel safe and supported enough to go into that feeling and to let ourselves be in the discomfort of it and [00:12:00] to let. Fully express itself and breathwork is such a beautiful practice for doing that, to really feel all of the grief and the guilt and the shame and sadness and rage, my goodness, the rage that has been inside of me that I didn't know existed.

[00:12:14] Ariana: And to just let that move through our body and to let it come out of the body. Yeah. Is such a beautiful gift to ourselves. And that's where some of that more I don't wanna say instantaneous healing comes from because there's still integration that needs to be done afterwards, but that's when people say, wow, I got more outta that session than I did in 10 years of therapy.

[00:12:35] Ariana: It's often because we're working with the feelings. Yeah. And we're not just talking about it.

[00:12:38] Lindsay: Two books that I've read, over the past few months, the first one is, Burnout by Emily, and Amelia Nagoski have you, have you read that? 

[00:12:46] Ariana: I haven't read it, but I've heard a few interviews with them and it sounds 

[00:12:49] Lindsay: fantastic.

[00:12:49] Lindsay: Yeah, it's a fantastic book. and they look at burnout from many different, , perspectives, another great book too. Now, thinking of it is Laziness Does Not Exist. These were both written during the pandemic. So [00:13:00] these are like current of the moment what's going on and looking at different angles or through different social lenses, society lenses, I should say.

[00:13:08] Lindsay: Laziness and burnout, but one of the things that in burnout they talk about is The completing the stress cycle, right? There's that feeling the emotion and letting it outta your body and another great book by Susie Moore that just came out called let it be easy. Talked about the same thing that you just said is we're really great at, about talking about our feelings, but not so great about feeling our feelings.

[00:13:29] Lindsay: And she had said that feelings only last about 90 seconds. So if we can hang on and let ourselves feel this feeling right. And I'm so curious if you attach that to some breath work can we feel the feeling, can we complete the stress cycle? Can we move through it instead of avoid it or do that spiritual bypassing of just talking about it or posting about it, but not actually sitting with it.

[00:13:50] Ariana: Yeah, a hundred percent. And the, what I really wanna acknowledge too, is that folks have had so many different kinds of experiences. Right? . And so for someone to [00:14:00] open up to the idea of feeling something, I've worked with many people who are like, I don't wanna go there because if I do, I'm never gonna stop crying for it.

[00:14:06] Ariana: Yes. And that's a very real and valid concern. And I want to validate that and. also let individuals know that if you are in a supportive container, if you're with a facilitator who you trust, who sees you as you fully are, you can go into that. And you won't be in it forever. And in fact, coming out on the other side, you're gonna feel so much freer and so much lighter than you do after having carried all of that for so many 

[00:14:33] Lindsay: years.

[00:14:34] Lindsay: Yes. Yes. And there's such a, such an important. Element to the healing journey that I think that people who aren't diving into it don't understand. And then, and this fear holds them back from diving into it, which is that sense of, if I start crying, I'll cry forever. If I face this, I'll feel it forever.

[00:14:47] Lindsay: When we acknowledge it, when we sit with it, we neutralize it. We allow it to move through us and not avoiding something. Doesn't make it go away. It's still there and it's still messing with your life. We gotta, we do need to do that work. 

[00:14:58] Ariana: It's like with shadow [00:15:00] work, we talk about, we shine the light on something, or when you speak to something you take some of the power away from it when we keep it hidden away. Not only is it impacting us on a physiological level, a couple more great books since we're on a role of recommending books is When the Body Says No by Dr.

[00:15:16] Ariana: Gabor. Yeah. And The Body the Score by Bessel Vanderholdt. Yeah. And these will show you how the emotional side, when we do not complete these cycles actually manifest in physical symptoms like chronic illness and pain and fatigue and all of these things. But when we can actually shine the light on those things, not only do we receive that physical healing, but it just starts to take some of the shame away from it.

[00:15:40] Ariana: We're not hiding these parts of ourselves anymore. 

[00:15:43] Lindsay: Yes, it's interesting. A bit of a vulnerable share for me that a lot of folks don't know, and that is that well, actually more folks know now, cause I'm more public about it.

[00:15:51] Lindsay: I'm more open about it, but I had bipolar disorder and I didn't tell about this, anyone about this for 10 years, like not a soul because of that shame, because of [00:16:00] that fear because of the stigma, because of all these things during the pandemic, at the beginning of his pandemic, it got a lot harder to manage my symptoms and to keep myself at a balanced space, and I was all over the place. And I started to sit with that. I started to be like, okay, so instead of hating manic, Lindsay, what if we loved manic Lindsay? What if we let manic Lindsay come out to to play in a safe, controlled way?

[00:16:28] Lindsay: Credit cards are put away. talking with my friends, so they're able to understand, oh, this is just what's going on. and it allowed me to really look at my own mental health or expression of mental health or potentially mental crisis, in a different way, in a more accepting way, more loving way, a passionate way, but also with support.

[00:16:47] Lindsay: And it completely changed from this shameful thing that I was hiding and struggling with to just becoming a normal part of the way that I function and having a strong, solid support system to be able to support me through.

[00:16:57] Lindsay: So there is that sense of [00:17:00] these things that we have a shame around or a fear around that we try to hide and repress it's not working for us. And it cuts us off from relationship with other people. 

[00:17:12] Ariana: A hundred percent. Thank you for sharing that. And I'm, when you said it cuts us off from relationship with others, if we can't fully be in relationship with ourselves, if we can allow all parts of ourselves to come to the table, when we're by ourselves, how do we expect to be able to have meaningful relationships with other people? 

[00:17:29] Lindsay: 100%. And what's really interesting is as I started talking to friends about what was going with me, they were revealing that they too were dealing with various different things.

[00:17:38] Lindsay: And for years, not just the pandemic brought to the surface a lot stronger for people, but for years when dealing with things, and there was all of a sudden this very honest, supportive. Deeply connected conversations that were now happening in these relationships that didn't exist. It was a totally different level.

[00:17:53] Lindsay: There is power there. There's what I forget what I was reading it might have been burnout. And they said that sadness [00:18:00] is a beacon. Not a barrier, right? Like we need to treat sadness like a beacon for calling in loved ones for calling in support, not use it as a barrier to cut people out.

[00:18:12] Lindsay: And I think that goes for a lot of things, especially around mental health. 

[00:18:17] Ariana: Yeah, I, I really love that and I need to read that book. It's a great book. You're 

[00:18:21] Lindsay: gonna love it. Friends. I'm gonna make sure that we put the book links we talk about in the show notes today. So don't worry.

[00:18:26] Lindsay: We won't leave you hanging. So if we think then. This journey that everybody's been on the past couple of years. So that entrepreneurs specifically have been on and there have been a lot of people who have pivoted drastically who are going through evolutions, who are challenging or reflecting on their values, their purpose their raise on Detra.

[00:18:45] Lindsay: I would love to get your thoughts on that, around this evolution that happens, and this sense of letting parts of us die that are no longer. Who we are to make room to rebirth who we really are, at least at least in this moment. Cause I [00:19:00] don't think we ever stop, but at least in this moment, right?

[00:19:03] Lindsay: What are your thoughts on the sense of death and rebirth in terms of entrepreneurship? 

[00:19:06] Ariana: There's so many things that I could say to this. And I think as you said, it's an ongoing process, right? And so for me, in my journey, it's been a continual learning to not attach to any new version of myself.

[00:19:16] Ariana: As I said, I started my business as a personal trainer. And when I realized in mid to late 2020, that it was time to let that part of my business go, there was so much identity intertwined in there. Fitness was what helped me stay sober. I had entered the world of entrepreneurship as fitness girl and.

[00:19:34] Ariana: Was like is she dead? Is sobriety not a part of my story now, what does that mean? And yeah, there was a solid, like five months of grieving that I had to go through between realizing that I needed to stop personal training and actually letting go of that. I got pregnant 10 days after. Yes.

[00:19:51] Ariana: And I, that was unexpected. That was not part of my plan. And so then again, like grieving, this, I'm not a mother identity now. It's [00:20:00] funny. It was almost a year ago to the day I was expressing to my mentor. I was terrified that my main priority would no longer be my business. Yeah. And now I'm in the state where of course it's no longer my business.

[00:20:10] Ariana: I have a baby who's expressing her throat chakra out there. So you could probably hear her. Yes. But through. So through all of these things, I know there will continue to be others that I can't attach to. And with that, one of the things that I've noticed in this world of entrepreneurship, through the folks that I tend to support most often is that as we grow and evolve, it's only natural that our businesses will grow and evolve.

[00:20:30] Ariana: . There are definitely people who like come out of the womb, knowing that they're meant to do this thing, and this is gonna be their business. And that's what it's going to be for their entire entrepreneurial journey. And that's amazing. But I also believe that our businesses are their own entities and they have their own ways that they wanna be expressed.

[00:20:49] Ariana: They have their own offerings that they wanna share. And just as we are on a continual journey to self actualize, as human beings, our businesses are on [00:21:00] those journeys as well. And to stifle the evolution of our business is to stifle the evolution of ourselves. And so it could be really tough. I know you're a big proponent of when you just start to not.

[00:21:13] Ariana: Get super dialed in on like the niche and the branding cuz it's gonna change. And that is a really important part, I think almost throughout the whole entrepreneurial journey. Yeah, 

[00:21:23] Lindsay: it is. And I have to say I a little bit wanna cry. That was beautiful. And I am literally fighting back tears right now. I got a bit of a quiver my voice, cuz that was absolutely beautiful.

[00:21:34] Lindsay: What a beautiful way to engage in entrepreneurship to understand that your business is its own entity and it wants to grow and express itself. And we can't smother it. We can't, let it like, hold it back. Like a teenager, like a young adult, we can't hold our businesses back.

[00:21:48] Lindsay: And yeah, like I do teach that I do teach, don't invest a lot. Don't get so stuck on cuz it's going to change and there's this great quote. That I don't have in front of me, but it talked about how we never really fully [00:22:00] arrive. It is, we are a state of becoming a journey of becoming, and I think that can be very true for business.

[00:22:05] Lindsay: And I do agree that there might be some businesses and entrepreneurs that never do really evolve. They've got it. This is it, but things change and. I don't know if it's in innate thing or a taught thing, a nature versus nurture, but there is such a fear around change, such a fear around growth and evolution.

[00:22:23] Lindsay: Do you think that there are people whose businesses want to evolve, but the fear is not letting them get there? 

[00:22:30] Ariana: A hundred percent I'm like, duh, I'll raise both hands from experience in this. And okay. I, from my own experience from the clients who I support and who I work with, yes, there are systemic forces at play and we have systems of oppression that we are working against.

[00:22:47] Ariana: Like we can acknowledge all of that. And a lot of the time we. Amongst the biggest things, holding our blood back. Yeah. We get those inklings. We get those thoughts of, this doesn't feel right. Or, Ooh, that seems really cool. I [00:23:00] wanna try that, but I can't because of X, Y, Z reason, or it's just easier to keep doing things the way we've been doing them because they're comfortable.

[00:23:07] Ariana: And they've maybe given us success up to this point, but eventually we need to learn that what got you here isn't necessarily gonna get you to that next point, but it's easy. It's not comfortable. To be in the like push and pull state of just doing as we've always done, but it's easy. 

[00:23:24] Lindsay: Yes. Oh my gosh.

[00:23:25] Lindsay: Do you have tips for somebody who is getting that whisperer, who's getting that inclination but it just cannot get themselves into. Okay, actually, I'm gonna, before I ask a question you get where I'm going with this question, but the question was gonna be, get them into action, but see, sometimes it's not action.

[00:23:43] Lindsay: Sometimes it's in action. It's needing space to let things breathe. So do you have tips for somebody who either needs to get into action or needs to step back and let things breathe? How do they manage. The fear and anxiety going through 

[00:23:56] Ariana: that. Yeah. Great question. And I have two tips [00:24:00] and there are like top level tips that have a bunch of branches that come down, which I, we could spend hours going into.

[00:24:05] Ariana: So I'll be super brief on this but I think the first one is like, What's the state of your nervous system. Is your nervous system on super high alert or are you completely shut down? There's something in the world of therapy known as the window of tolerance. Mm-hmm I like to refer to it as the window of resilience, courtesy my teacher, Chantel Chapman and hero.

[00:24:24] Ariana: I'm not gonna say her last name properly Demecelas maybe she's wonderful. She's lovely. People probably know who I'm talking about. But the window of resilience is a scale of one to 10. Where am I from zero or one being like completely shut down and 10 being in that, like I have to make all of the decisions, right?

[00:24:42] Ariana: Yeah. And we like a regulated, nervous system is in the like three to seven. So we could have a little check in with ourselves. How am I feeling today? Where am I at right now? Do I need to get out for a walk in nature to either bring a little bit more energy or to look at some trees and orient [00:25:00] myself and realize like what in my body there's no threat.

[00:25:04] Ariana: So let's first look at what our nervous system is because. If we're really highly activated telling someone to just get quiet is it's not helpful. And at the same time, if somebody's in a full state of shutdown, telling someone to go out and take action is also not helpful because we hear about people feeling stuck, but it's actually like your physiology.

[00:25:24] Ariana: There's something stuck in there. And then that manifests as not being able to make decisions. So let's look at the nervous system and then do what you can do to support yourself a little bit to take care of your internal system. And then if you're getting the inkling that there are some things that wanna be changed or some things that you wanna do differently, are there low stakes ways that you can do this?

[00:25:43] Ariana: So for folks who are just beginning to get in tune with their intuition, I like to say, if you're at a restaurant, just pick the first thing that you feel called to try, or if you're out for a walk, let your intuition guide you like, oh, I'm gonna turn down the street today rather than going on your usual walk, just to [00:26:00] start to build that connection with your inner truth and your inner guidance system.

[00:26:04] Ariana: And then from there we can start to play around with other smaller things. Like maybe one day, you'll just share something a little different on your Instagram. Or maybe you'll use a different color on something. We don't have to make huge changes, but just these little tiny things and you can see, wow.

[00:26:19] Ariana: How did that feel to listen to myself? Am I getting a different response from folks on the outside? That's showing that something's landing, do I feel more easeful in my body when I do it in this way? And those can be indicators that wow. Maybe if. Continue to listen to myself or welcome in even more ease.

[00:26:38] Lindsay: Yeah. And it's a lot of trust in yourself, right? Like you have to build up that trust in yourself. I notice that a lot of entrepreneurs cuz we both work with entrepreneurs and a lot of entrepreneurs have an all or nothing mentality. Yeah. And this has been some of the conversations I've been having with folks within my own community.

[00:26:57] Lindsay: This idea of what's the in [00:27:00] between step. Okay. I need photos. Do I spend a thousand dollars on a photo shoot? Well, Is there an in between step, can you maybe grab two headshot at a price that's more accessible for you? If you're a beginner or somebody else I was talking with that wanted to, they wanted to start figuring out their brand, but didn't have money for a couple thousand dollars for a brand style guide.

[00:27:18] Lindsay: It's like, well, I ended up connecting them up with one of my favorite graphic designers and just said, just ask if you can buy an hour of her time and she can help you pick out a color scheme and some fonts, right through her design lens like design eyes, just this and these are really practical business related thing, a little bit different than what you're talking about, but just this idea of what are these in between steps?

[00:27:37] Lindsay: I don't have to go all in. What is one little step I can do to move me forward? so when we talk about the nervous system, I don't know that a lot of folks necessarily knows what that means, right? So what are physical signs, emotional, mental signs that people need to watch for to be like, Ooh, [00:28:00] my nervous system might be out of whack. 

[00:28:02] Ariana: Yeah, definitely. So some mental things that we can look for, again, as I alluded to before we finding ourselves frozen, completely unable to make decisions, to think about a next step.

[00:28:14] Ariana: Can we not see anything essentially? Is it just all scattered in front of us? Yeah. The other end of that can be where everything is of utmost importance and it all needs to be done right now. And the world's gonna completely end if I don't do it right. You can even hear that in my voice. Like even if I say that I, I feel my nervous system becoming activated.

[00:28:32] Ariana: So our thought patterns are very indicative of where our nervous system is at on an emotional side. There, there are different things. Are we constantly suppressing emotions? I was out for a walk this morning and I was thinking about some things and I felt some emotion come up and I was like, eh, now's not the time.

[00:28:49] Ariana: I'll wait till I get home. And then I got home and like those tears, like I couldn't get them up. And so I'm finding that because I'm compartmentalizing a lot of parts of my life that I'm having difficulty [00:29:00] accessing my emotions. Yeah. When I would need to. And then on a physical sense, the nervous system is at the root of so many of the different physical ailments that we experience from digestive issues to circulatory problems chronic disease, chronic fatigue so many things, you know, our nervous system really is the driver of our experience here.

[00:29:23] Ariana: And it's beautiful that the nervous system is getting. It's like a buzzword right now and it's getting its little moment of fame. Yeah. But there's also a lot of misunderstanding around it. And right now everyone thinks that we just need to calm our nervous systems down. And while yes, the vast majority of people would benefit from a little bit of down regulation, as I said, those sensations and sometimes things that are even labeled as depression, not to undermine depression.

[00:29:48] Ariana: Yeah. Because it's super real, but oftentimes what. Just stuck and trapped in our physiology. It's just being labeled as depression. And then people are being given medication when [00:30:00] it's their body. 

[00:30:00] Lindsay: There's some interesting articles that I've been circling around. Some research articles talking about how we need to rethink depression because.

[00:30:07] Lindsay: They actually think it might be a fight or flight response, an extreme stress response. It's not a mental illness. It is our body's. And our brain's way of preserving us are protecting us in extreme stress. Which I get, that was a big part of me looking at BI my bipolar differently. I'm like, okay. So if my depression, part of my bipolar is extreme stress reaction is a manic part.

[00:30:28] Lindsay: A part of me that's I describe it as having this moment of lucidity of looking around the world and being like, guys, this is really messed up and having this moment of my brain wanting to break three break, free story of. The very broken world that we live in and there needing to be drastic change.

[00:30:43] Lindsay: And I don't want us to get too deep here, friends. I don't wanna to depress you or trigger nervous system responses. But there is a lot of really heavy things going on and the pandemic has given us all the free time. And the access to [00:31:00] all these things that have been going on forever, and more people are becoming more aware of how broken things are.

[00:31:07] Lindsay: And I think that they're feeling called within their businesses to address that, to change the way they operate their business, to change the way their business exists in the world. Have you felt a big pull?

[00:31:17] Lindsay: From a business perspective to be maybe more active in different social needs. 

[00:31:23] Ariana: Yes. And no, I'm very open about the fact that I don't really, I don't consider myself an activist. When I, when we look at the roles that individuals play on society in society, we need people on the front lines.

[00:31:34] Ariana: We need the people with the megaphones, like being loud, getting the voices heard, and that's amazing. And that's not who I am. I believe that I am. I'm like the Trojan horse of the revolution and I'm working my way in. And if I can help people begin to who are maybe not seeing the things that are wrong.

[00:31:55] Ariana: Yeah. I can help them begin to see those things, which often begin with ourselves and realizing the [00:32:00] ways that we've been silenced in the ways that we've been shunned. That's where I feel my role has always been is to support the individual. Who maybe has that big message that they wanna share or to support the leader.

[00:32:11] Ariana: Who's running a team and maybe I can help them become a little bit more conscious or even the parent who can then raise their child a little bit differently. So that has been my vision and my mission, from the day I started my business. I knew that if I saw what a different person I. From taking care of myself and from getting sober and I thought, wow, fitness can do this for me.

[00:32:33] Ariana: What can it do for other people? And I believe that everyone has something special, the world needs, and that when we take care of ourselves, we are well resourced. We become better equipped to share those gifts and those gifts are different for everyone. And so I am here to bridge that gap between. I don't, I'm not special.

[00:32:50] Ariana: I don't know what my gifts are. And then to being able to fully embody them. Yes. I think within the last couple of years, I've definitely become more more aware of the [00:33:00] importance of that. And it is easier for me to step outside of myself when I get caught up in the, this is hard. Am I doing the right thing?

[00:33:08] Ariana: Does anyone care? It's no, there's a bigger vision here. You need to be part of this right now. So it's. Quiet and behind the scenes activism, 

[00:33:18] Lindsay: Yeah. Yes. Yes. I love that. When I first started my business ages ago and somebody asked me what I wanted to do, what was my vision? And I'm like, I just wanna create a global network of people helping people.

[00:33:29] Lindsay: And they had said to me you gotta be more specific and what does that mean? And I was like, that's what I wanna create. And I was thinking about that. I was reflecting on that last month and thinking. But that's what I'm doing because I work with service based entrepreneurs who generally, I tend to work with people who are similar to me and that they want to be a part of the change.

[00:33:46] Lindsay: They want to have an impact big or small. It all matters. It's all important. And I'm thinking to myself, Lindsay, that's what you've created. And that's what you're continuing to create is this global network of people, helping people. And I think that's really important for folks [00:34:00] to hear right now, too, whether your activism is loud and on the front lines or as quiet person to person and riping it out.

[00:34:06] Lindsay: It all matters. and it's all making a 

[00:34:09] Ariana: difference. And we need it all. Yeah. Like we need the healers. We need the people who can get into like public policy and make the changes. Yeah. We need the people who can speak out about the injustice. We need all of it. We need all of you. And so what can you do to support yourself, support your nervous system, your body, come back to your truth so that you can go out and to share those.

[00:34:31] Lindsay: Heck. Yes. So let's segue that into the fun gift that you have for folks member. Remember everyone to go check off the show notes because we have a link for a fun breathwork gift that you've got for everyone listening. 

[00:34:43] Ariana: Yes. I have a 15 minute practice. I call it the daily tuneup because it is something you could do on a daily basis.

[00:34:49] Ariana: 15 minutes of breathwork. Isn't gonna take you super, super deep into all of your stuff. So not to worry. What it will do is it'll help you begin to regulate your nervous system. It will give you 15 minutes of your day to get [00:35:00] quiet, to be able to perhaps allow some of those insights to come through, but it is an active process.

[00:35:05] Ariana: So if you don't love. Sit still and meditate. No worries. I got you covered so the link will be in the show notes for that. And you could do it daily couple times a week, once a month, whatever feels good to you. 

[00:35:16] Lindsay: I love it. Thank you so much for sharing that. And if somebody is thinking, Ariana is pretty cool.

[00:35:21] Lindsay: I'd like to, I'd like to do some work with her who are the types of people that need to call you? 

[00:35:25] Ariana: I work with a lot of spiritual seekers who are beginning their journey into entrepreneurship. So they have these gifts, they have these talents. They've maybe been to lots of healing circles and experienced a lot of other folks doing beautiful medicine work and they're realizing, Hey, why can't I do this too?

[00:35:41] Ariana: Yeah. So that's usually who I tend to work with. Oh my 

[00:35:45] Lindsay: gosh. I love it. Okay. So the best place for people to come find you is 

[00:35:49] Ariana: where on Instagram is my main hub. You can find all of the other places from there. I have a very UN Instagrammable name. You can find me at Ariana Fotinakis, which I'm sure will be in the show [00:36:00] notes.

[00:36:00] Ariana: Yes, but I just love to chat and I love to hear about what folks are doing. So please feel free to come and say. I love it. Wonderful. Thank 

[00:36:06] Lindsay: you so much for hanging out with us today. I'm on cloud nine, that was a beautiful conversation. And I think a lot of folks are gonna really resonate with many of the things that you said before we wrap up.

[00:36:17] Lindsay: I always ask folks because this is the work less play more podcast. What does working lesson playing more mean to you? 

[00:36:25] Ariana: Oh, right now, as a, I think I can still call myself a new mom. It's about being able to be present with my baby. Yeah. And watching her grow and develop and like even just little things like how much more refined she gets with her hands.

[00:36:37] Ariana: Like I wanna be there for as much of it as possible. So I like to do the impactful things in as short amount of time as I can, and then get back to going and being mommy. I 

[00:36:48] Lindsay: love it. I love it. Amazing. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today. This has been a great conversation and I'm honored that you spent some time 

[00:36:55] Ariana: with us. Yeah, it was my pleasure. Thank you so much for having me. 

[00:36:58] Lindsay: Friends, Thank you [00:37:00] so much for listening in. You'll find all the links to all the resources we discussed over on theradicalconnector.com/podcast. Entrepreneurship is a tool for creating the life of your wildest dreams. It is not meant to take over your entire life. Entrepreneurship has a magical ability to transform your skills, passions, and big ideas into a business that can change the world. But it will also eat up all of your time, money, and energy

[00:37:27] Lindsay: if you let it. If you're a service based entrepreneur and are ready to work less and play more, get on my email list or contact me directly and let's talk about how we can get your business working for you so you can build the life of your wildest dreams and get out there and change the world. Happy connecting by for now. 

[00:37:44] 

[00:37:44] Lindsay: